May 6th 2013

The day my life changed forever & NOT in a good way... me & my mother have known for a year & a half now that my dad had lung & bone cancer we as a family always tried to be there for each other but we tried even harder as soon as we found out at first it was once & a while that he would have to go to the doctor then more & more me & my mother prayed every day for a year to get him better some day were like he wasn't even sick at all but other days it was like being scared of what may happen... one day when my dad had to go to the bathroom while me & my mother slept we heard a big banging noise & jump out of bed & there was my dad face down on the floor barely even able to talk, that was the first time in my life that i new i had to grow up & fast! my mother was yelling at the up of her lunges for him to get up but he couldn't cause its legs gave out... so i yelled at her to stop screaming & to call 911 so she did. he looked at me with his big brown eyes & just then i knew what he needed he needed me to roll him over to be able to breath so i did just that & it was hard cause my dad weighted around 200-300pts but i did it just to save him that was the first time i have every seem my dad weak. (as a kid he was the strongest man i ever knew i would hold his arms while he would swing me from them.) that night we went into the hospital at 2:00 in the morning but didn't leave till 5:00am & i had work the next day. i reminder that my dad was hungry & really wanted to eat but the hospital wouldn't let him so he said i could have the sandwich that a nurse gave him & i kissed his head like i always did & told him that i would see him later that day i was at work i didn't really notice what was going on so i ended up getting yelled at by my boss... but i finally took them what was going on. (that job sucked anyways) after a day of checking on my dad they let him come home but me & my mother didn't really let him go to the bathroom without 1 of us walking him there safely. for a few weeks things looked good then my dad fell again & he was very confused about where he was & what was going on so my mom once again started yelling so i had to get her to stop so she can call 911 while she was doing that i looked at him & cried while rubbing his forehead & telling him that everything was going to be ok...but i didn't really know for sure, i cried & heal his head up till they came to get him but he didn't want to go...he started calling my mother diff names like his sister & called my mother crazy cause he didn't want to go to the hospital but we found out he had .14 blood presser. she the next day he didn't realize what had done...so we all took him & made it into a joke. (as a kid i remember seeing him poke his finger & i would always ask if it hurt he always said no) so after a while dad got to come back home & it always felt amazing to have him home i would always cook for him & when i was sad i would sit on the side of his chair & talk to him he even let me cut his hair which i tho was so cool (: he ended up falling 2 more times when he was home & yet again my mother was screaming her head off & i had to calm her down but the third time he did we where outside the house trying to get something but even tho my dad knew he was sick he still tried to do it & he fell on some bags luckily but it was harder because he couldn't feel his legs so me & my mother had to try 10 times more to get him up & we almost broke our backs but we did it..but because he was getting weak the doctor tho we should get him into a rest home so we did & it wasn't even that far from our home which was great (: so we visited everyday & had all our meals with him which made me so happy to see him eating it was like nothing was wrong but i guess i was just fooling myself... & the greatest thing happen right before Christmas my dad got to come home & i was so happy & so where the people that worked there they loved us & they were so nice to my family. but a few while he was at the rest home he ended up getting bags to carry around cause he was not peeing right sadly so everyday me & my mother would change his pee fulled bags & my mother would help him into the bathroom so he could take a shower & 3 people came to our house 1 was a nurse, 1 was a shower helper & 1 was helping my dad walk more. but they were not very helpful. they came as fast as they went. (when i was a kid my dad would always call me angel but i always tho my dad was the real one not me he would protect me from everything & he let me follow him around & do everything he did till this day i still did even when he was sick) one day after coming back to the hospital from the grocery store me & my mother found my dad a sleep after getting kemo my dad didn't seem to know what was going on he looked very dazzed & confused well the nurse there didn't seem to really care she tried to rush my dad into a wheelchair & get him out of the hospital as fast as possible so my mother & the nurse could not get him into the chair so she calls over another nurse to help so we finally get him in then we roll him to the car but at this point he is still confused & not responding to anyone but his eyes are open so me & my mother can not get him into the car so we ask 2 men nurses to help & luckily they helped us & prayed for us so we get home & he id still like this & we cant get him out of the car now so my mother calls 911 & they help us but they are worried bout why he is not responding so they take him to the hospital. by the next day he is fine & smiling like normal & he asks my mom "what happen? how did i get here?" & i laugh & so does my mother but by that next day we get a phone call saying that 6 of my dads body parts have failed so me & my mother rush to see him & my dad was a sleep & i looked at him with crying eyes & he just smiles at me, my mother goes closer to him & talks to him but when he speaks back she mistakes him words for "i wanna die" so she starts crying then she falls to the floor, screaming & crying having a panic attack & all the doctors & nurses don't know what to do & my dad just looks at her trying to see whats wrong. so one of the nurses ask me if i can help so i go over to her while she is creaming & crying rolling on the floor & i grab her head & rub it while trying to clam her down but it is not working so they end up putting her in the hospital as well so at that point i had 2 parents in the same hospital & i tho to myself when did i become the grown up?... i was so confused i had to grow up fast & i hated it but i knew i had to do it cause no one else will.... so what i did was visit both of them at the same time but lucky for me my mother was only there for an hr & then they let her go once she calmed down. & i took her that "daddy did not say he wanted to die you just misunderstood" 2 months later he ended up going on a breathing vent so he was moved to a different rest home & we tho because he was at a rest home he would get better like he did the last time but we were wrong. there was days that he would smile so big even tho he could not talk & then there were days that were really hard :( but the most day of my life was May 6th 2013 something in my mom took her to bring a pair of clothes cause we were going to spend the night with my dad & that Sunday night me & my mother where getting ready to go to sleep in a diff room then my dads sadly & a Doctor comes him & says "your husband is doing very bad would you like me to come get you when he passes or do you wanna be there with him" & at that moment i jump up & ran to my dad with water fulling up my eyes & all i can think was i was not going to let him dye alone... the weird part for me was my dad was having seizure & he Never had those before. but when i ran into the room a male nurse asked me what is going on & i tried so hard to speak but i was out of breath & when i took them they said "yes your dad is very weak he is going to pass soon" & i cried so hard it was like knifes coming from my eyes but for that night my mother stayed in the room with him while i got some rest but i didn't sleep till 5:00 in the morning & that Monday morning around 10:00 my dad passed & on may 14th 2013 we berried him in Dallas, Tx. the thing that kills me the most is knowing that i will no longer have my best friend/ my superhero & all around amazing dad. if you guys knew him you would be amazed how funny, sweet, caring man he was he would help anyone in need & do it with a smile no asking for anything back. i love him so much we had so many plans together & the one thing i am going to miss the most is running into his arms & crying while he rubs my head but i no he loves me & i love him so much & it was like ripping my heart out when i had to let him go.